Published Tuesday &
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Special! editor@envirodocs.com
928-636-9425 Thursday September 16, 2004 ````````````````````````````````````````````````````
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============================
=> IN THIS ISSUE!
============================
<> Editors' Remarks
<>Motivational Thought!
<> Spotlight of the Day
<> Spotlighting a product/service/person
<> Business Tip
<> Business Coach of the Day
<> Change Your Life Information
Greetings! As the week is coming
to a close have you done the things to
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think today's ezine can help you move
toward next week early and kick start
your success!
Do what you must to succeed today. As
long as it's honest, fulfilling, doesn't
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====================== MOTIVATIONAL
THOUGHT
======================
"When you make a
mistake, don't look back at it long.
Take the reason of the thing into your
mind and then look forward. Mistakes are
lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be
changed. The future is yet in your
power. "
~ Hugh White
==================== SPOTLIGHT OF
THE DAY
=====================
Is 9% effective
okay? What happens to the other 91%?
Headline reads "Colorectal Cancer
Drug Wins Quick Approval From F.D.A."
Sounds great but at the same time I feel
in my bones that it is a time bomb for
disaster because I read the company's
own reports.
Dr. Richard Pazdur, who supervises
cancer drugs at the F.D.A., said that
the agency had moved quickly because
there were no treatment options for
patients once the two existing cancer
drugs - 5-FU and irinotecan - no longer
worked.
Despite this rapid new approval,
Eloxatin failed to get through the F.D.A.
two years ago as an initial treatment
for colorectal cancer, in part because
studies did not show it prolonged lives.
New data presented at a meeting of the
American Society of Clinical Oncology
earlier this year showed that Eloxatin
in combination with other drugs could
prolong survival. "Could?" Is that yes
or no? So what changed? The word "could"
was added? Actually, they do not state
what, if anything, changed!
In a clinical trial involving 463
patients, the combination of Eloxatin
and 5-FU shrank tumors by at least 30%
in 9% of patients, while either 5-FU or
Eloxatin alone shrank tumors in
virtually NO patients. The combination
of Eloxatin and 5-FU is said to have
kept tumors from starting to grow again
for 4.6 months, or 2 months longer than
for 5-FU alone. What happens to those
other 91 percent? What happens at the
end of 2 months when the tumors began to
grow? What happens after Eloxatin stops
working as did the 5-FU & irinotecan?
Too many unanswered questions for me?
I'm not a MENSA member, but those
figures just do not sound very promising
nor would I want to risk my life with a
treatment that is only 9% effective
and even then the tumors only shrank
by 30% in those 9%! But, it's a
Billion dollars in someone's pocket,
that's what changed!
What bothers me is the negative hoopla
that is made by the medical industry
about the ineffectiveness of herbals in
treatments, but their record far exceeds
9%! How about 75% to 80% with herbals
but the FDA does not regulate them and
people use that as a reason not to take
them! What they don't tell you is that
the very worst processed of herbs on
the market will exceed 9% cure rate!
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Since your business requires face to
face communication, at times, lets find
out how to make that successful. We do
tend to lose the knack for personal
contact when we communicate in email so
much! Online tip at end of article!
The trick in business as well as
personal social situations is learning
to SPEAK to others and get them to truly
LISTEN means the difference in you
having the ability to truly hear what is
being said to or by you. If you aren't
really hearing what someone actually
says even though you think you're
listening, results in no real
communication!
When you communicate with someone and
need his/her undivided attention you
will need to speak the same language. In
order to assure they are more receptive
to you then you need the ability to
reach their subconscious level.
Mirroring is a form used by those who
are very successful at relationships,
sales, marketing or negotiating. A term
most have never heard of!
People communicate on a subconscious
level without even realizing it. The art
of mirroring is a language, when used
effectively, can gain you a lot of
allies. If not used can mean being left
behind, or at best, not the most
effective.
Your goal is to watch, listen and
prepare!
I am going to focus on rapport building
to successful marketing or just plain
language skills to successful business
and personal relationships.
The language of mirroring or Neuro
Linguistic Programming as it was named
in the '70's is the ideal way of getting
into the same language pattern in order
to know you are on the same wave length.
Matching words, expressions, voice tone,
even volume, in order to speak in the
other person's language. This not only
proves you've been listening, but also
the best way to introduce your own ideas
without opposition or disagreement.
In mirroring or NLP we learn that we
process information in
three distinct ways; primary being
(1) Auditory, the art of hearing or
sound. (listening)
(2) Visual, sight or seeing, (seeing)
(3) Kinesthetic, touch or feeling.
(empathy)
Our words are our primary method of
processing information in both speaking
and listening.
Response of "I see" that tells you this
is a visual person. Responding to that
person you would need to answer on a
feeling level, such as, "it looks good
to me also."
Response of "sounds good to me or I
hear you," indicates an auditory person
lives in that body. One that comes in
with "Feels okay to me or I felt that,"
indicates a kinesthetic person, one who
feels things.
It is possible that the responses may
only indicate that moment of being for
that person or the permanent personality
of that person. Most of us tend to be a
"moment to moment person, but the
majority of the time we will appear to
use the same pattern over and over which
reflects who we are when speaking with
others.
On either sight, feeling or touching
plain (Auditory, visual or Kinesthetic)
indicates the necessity of communicating
in "the moment" of that person's reality
reflecting your art communication
skills!
Effective communication involves
duplicating a person's body movements,
visual and auditory speech as often as
possible, realistically, and without
being too obvious. You cannot fake it or
you will be detected? If the person is
conscious of your mirroring the whole
purpose will be defeated. This is not a
game but proven to actually work to
understanding what is truly being said
to you.
For instance, as the person you're with
begins to rest his or her hand on his or
her chin-or cross his or her legs, or
fold his or her arms-wait for a moment,
and then slowly do the same. It takes
practice to notice and mirror others
effectively. Find an associate and
practice, practice until this becomes a
natural habit. If this cannot subtly be
done the rapport will be lost as well as
your credibility!
Matching and mirroring are totally
natural processes when two people
already have good rapport (watch friends
or happy couples in conversation.
Physically, they will often be almost
totally in sync). You're simply speeding
up the time it usually takes to make a
person feel comfortable. Rapport can be
created both on the conscious open
level - finding similarities such as
same birthplace, interests, etc. - and
then below the conscious level by way of
matching and mirroring the body
movements of said person.
Reasons mirroring works so well is;
A) Transforms weakness into power: Don't
fight for honor's sake; it will cause
you to lose in the end. Mirroring serves
to deprive your foe of the satisfaction
of defeating you without them knowing it
happened.
B) Giving in conceals power. It makes
your foe complacent and gives you time
to recoup and work on ways to undermine
or rearrange his/her thinking. Not in a
bad way but a positive effect for both
parties! Setting up a win win situation.
People who are so into showing their
power and care about showing authority
are easily undermined and defeated by
the giving-in tactic. Outward submission
makes them feel important, making them
easier targets later for counterattack.
Again this is not a bad thing but makes
bargaining or selling a positive.
Don't sacrifice long-term
maneuverability for short-lived
martyrdom. If you stay firm inside but
end up on the outside, you will confuse
your adversary therefore losing your
battle.
Example:
In ancient China, King Gou Jian lost a
major battle to the ruler of Wu. Instead
of fleeing, he surrendered, gave his
conqueror his riches and went to work
for him as a stable hand for three
years. Finally, Gou Jian was freed. He
raised an army and, using the knowledge
he had gained about his opponent,
attacked and defeated him. Story
borrowed from
www.bottomlinepersonal.com
This both disarms but may infuriate, if
discovered, when using the mirroring
effect. Acting like someone else-whether
it is a boss, peer or opponent-is what I
call the mirroring effect. Works like a
desert chameleon, which assume the
colors of its environment so no one can
touch it.
MIRRORING OTHERS will give them the
feeling that you share their thoughts
and goals. Everyone is consumed by his
own ego. Try to impose your own ego and
you meet resistance. But holding up a
mirror make others see what they want to
see. Therefore feed the fantasies of
others by finding out what they like and
making those tastes your own. This
should not be used simply to satisfy
your ego!
Secret of mirroring your employer - is
to put books by some of your boss's
favorite writers on your bookshelf. Very
Effective rapport builder.
Don't lecture people about their
failings or products-they won't listen.
Mirroring their behavior will serve to
cause them to either ignore you or think
about their own actions either way you
will know where you stand.
NEVER APPEAR PERFECT! Looking better
than others is dangerous. People will
become envious and look for ways to trip
you up. When others envy you they will
work against you. If your attitude is "I
am always right" you will lose in the
end!
WEED OUT envy before it takes root.
Appear unambitious to your colleagues.
Make power seem like at least something
of a burden and sacrifice-something
imposed upon you. The appearance of
self-sacrifice turns envy to pity.
People will feel bad for imposing on you
instead of resenting you for what you
have. Most truly successful wealthy
people that I have met carry this very
attitude!
This should not be used in a manner that
others view you as a fake but as
genuinely interested in them and will
work with both sexes. The secret to
making friends and associates will
center in mirroring. It takes a lot of
practice to become interested in others
if you are not truly interested.
Just remember this one thing - fake will
only lose the advantage for you and
possibly make it impossible to repair
the damage. So practice until it is a
natural part of your listening skills.
All you have to do is remember that
practice makes perfect!
MY ADDED FORTH DIMENSION FOR ONLINE
MIRRORING: Mirror yourself in your
website? That is to put your
personality into your website. This will
help people to see who you truly are and
will result in you having a better life
by gaining your potential
customer/client's respect! Be honest and
above board, don't invent
yourself, BE YOURSELF!
Take charge of mirroring yourself and
succeed.
Lena
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=========================== BUSINESS COACH
OF THE DAY
===========================
*What Confidence Is.*
Traditionally, confidence is defined as
"trust in" or "reliance
upon". When you have self-confidence,
you trust in, or rely upon, yourself.
Possessing confidence in yourself means
believing that you have the ability to
become, achieve or acquire whatever you
want.
Have you ever met a person whom you'd
describe as "magnetic"? A magnetic
person is someone who literally radiates
confidence. They exude certainty,
assurance and charisma. We are drawn to
confident people because their belief in
themselves is more attractive than
perfect features or careful grooming.
They instill in us a much-desired sense
of security; a feeling that, no matter
what happens, you can count on them to
make decisions and take action in a
manner that produces an acceptable
outcome.
Whether a confident individual actually
does (or doesn't) produce an "acceptable
outcome" depends largely on the
individual, the situation, and our
rather subjective definition of
what's "acceptable". The difference that
confidence makes in this equation is
that our perspective and memory of an
experience is dramatically improved when
we feel that "we're in good hands".
Confidence is magnetic, powerful and
profound. It's the calm voice amidst
chaos. It's the firm hand on your
shoulder when you're lost in a crowd.
It's what legends and leaders are made
of.
*What Confidence Isn't.*
One of the biggest reasons why
self-confidence is such a rare quality
is because most people believe one or
more of the following three common
misconceptions to be true.
Misconception 1: Confidence is a
by-product of exceptional knowledge,
beauty, experience, or talent.
Confidence is NOT merely a by-product of
exceptional knowledge, beauty,
experience or talent. Confidence is
about faith, trust, belief. How many
times have you seen, known, or heard
about the beautiful, talented,
successful individual who is painfully
or even self-destructively insecure?
Despite their natural gifts, these
individuals lack basic trust or belief
in themselves.
I've known people who were stunning and
insecure; brilliant and awkward;
talented and paralyzed by stage-fright.
And I've know people with crooked teeth,
average intelligence and no sense of
style to speak of who radiated charisma.
Brains, beauty and talent certainly
can't hurt you ? but self-confidence is
not directly related to any of them.
Misconception 2: Confidence is not
something you can learn or
develop; you either have it or you
don't.
If there is one thing humans are, it's
infinitely adaptable. When I
was a physical therapist, I worked with
people who lost limbs or the ability to
move or feel portions of their bodies
and yet, with help and perseverance,
they were able to learn new ways of
moving and functioning. Despite the fact
that they had done things one way (i.e.
writing with their right hand) for
decades, they were able to learn a new
way of doing the same things (writing
with their left-hand or in some cases,
using their mouth) in a matter of weeks
or months.
Self-confidence can be learned and
developed. It's as simple as that.
Misconception 3: A person's level of
confidence is directly tied to the
amount of validation, praise, or
recognition they receive.
While praise and validation certainly
help people feel good about themselves,
they are by nature transient,
conditional things, and therefore not a
reliable way to sustain one's
self-confidence.
Confidence is about believing in
something or someone in spite of the
fact that you have no evidence this
thing or person deserves belief. When
you tell someone that you have
confidence in them, you are saying, "I
believe in you." Even if they have no
prior record of accomplishing whatever
it is you believe they can accomplish.
Think back to when you were a child,
learning to ride a bike or hit a
baseball for the very first time. Your
parents told you that you could do it,
and even though you might have been
scared, you did. You had confidence in
your ability to do something despite the
fact that you'd never done it before.
There was the chance that you'd fail;
that your effort would not bear fruit;
but you didn't focus on that. You had
confidence in yourself.
Do you remember a time when you believed
in yourself? When the words "I can't"
simply weren't a part of your
vocabulary? It's amazing how as
children, we inherently believe in
ourselves. We're willing to try just
about anything; we think we're immortal!
Whether we get praised or recognized for
our efforts or not, we're willing to try
something new.
The bottom line is, no amount of praise
is going to build your self-confidence,
because confidence comes from internal
resources. Compliments, praise and
recognition ring hollow unless you
believe in yourself.
*The First Step to Building
Self-Confidence.*
So the good news is that you can develop
self-confidence; and you don't have to
lose 20 pounds or get a makeover or
become fluent in 3 languages to get
started. But you do have to define what
confidence means to you. What would your
life be like if you had abundant
self-confidence? How would you look,
act, feel? How would others respond to
you?
The first step in any process of change
is identifying what the ideal state
you're working toward is. After all, how
can you get what you want if you don't
quite know what that is?
Take a few minutes to really ponder
these questions. Answer them in writing.
Define your personal definition of
confidence and use it as a starting
point for developing a deep and lasting
belief in yourself.
(c) 2004 Marta Kagan
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Business coach and life coach Marta
Kagan has helped countless professionals
achieve more success, freedom, and
balance in their lives. To find out more
about Marta's innovative products and
services and sign up for FREE
confidence-building tips like these,
visit her website at
http://www.lifelinecoaching.com .
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